Sunday, May 8, 2011

ggrr

Another day another fuck up.  Actually today was okay except I did over do the Chinese a little.  Yesterday sucked ass.  I am constantly trying to just stay within the eating guidelines but not trying hard enough because if I did, I wouldn't have the need to puke it all back.  I am also having trouble getting to the computer to type this when it happens so that I can actually put into words what I am feeling because every fucking time I want to get on here, someone else is on and pissing me off with the attitude that I have to wait my turn.. What the fuck is wrong with that picture??  I pay the fucking bills.. that's what.  And I am in a continuous battle with the girls for computer time.  They think all I do is play fucking Farmville..lol... right.  No sometimes I want to write, sometimes I want to work on this or whatever I have to work on the point is that they need to understand something... This is MY computer not theirs and I have the right to be on here not them....  So they go off pouting or yelling or pissing on themselves whatever..  so I am between getting a laptop or a camera.. hmmm maybe a laptop would be better.  There is so much I want to say... so much that I want to let out but it seems that unless I can get some time alone or time as I need it, it's not going to happen.  Someone is always waiting for something.  Someone is always waiting for me to get off so they can get on or waiting for me so that we can do something or sitting right behind me.  See I cannot control anything in this house.  I cannot control my eating or anything so why is it a shock that I cannot control my puking???????

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